K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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