Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i drank out of a bidet.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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