my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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