How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
