Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
