I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
