Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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