So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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