I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
