Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
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I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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