I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
