just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
