I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
