I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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