Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
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Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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