She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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