Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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