I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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