I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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