so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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