Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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