You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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