Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
