At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
