I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
