that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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