one might say we're banned from that church
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
