I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
This toilet bowl is my home.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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