Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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