some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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