Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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