I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
