smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
