I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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