You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
