sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
