does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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