What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
