this just has baby written all over it
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize