He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
