the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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