Its about making memories worth repressing
operation harelip BJ is a go
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
