i just snorted my name. best moment ever
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
