Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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