worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
