it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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