Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
