Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
No subtext here. People are naked.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
