I'm so fucking centered right now
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I will be naked everywhere
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
