I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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