Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
