We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
