My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
