We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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