he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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