god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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