Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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