I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
