She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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