You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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