I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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