butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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