The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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