At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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